I have a lot of respect for the people who can just shut off the noisy parts of their brain and focus. I lose a fair bit of time managing the extra stressful moments that come into my life. Often a “crisis” hits and the logic center of my brain freezes.
I got a flat tire, and I knew what the motions were to fix it. I have YouTube, I learned where to put the jack. I figured out how to leverage the tools etc. However the entire time I was in a state of panic, arguably to a point where I wanted to cry and have a temper tantrum like a child.
Only I know I’m not a child and I need to actually deal with whatever thing is creating the crisis. Meanwhile I sound like a wreck and look like I can’t handle anything.
It’s a pretty awkward process
Once the realization of whatever problem kicks in, most recently this flat tire, the doom & gloom lens takes over. Instantly the New Years Eve money I was so eager to make was gone. That part isn’t relevant to solving my problem but takes over the brain anyway to create a distraction from seeing solutions.
After the first bad thought seeps in, it becomes a real emotional rumble to accept what is happening. When possible I will call people and rant through this emotional clusterfuck playing out. When I was younger the bad moods that came with hard moments could lock me out of being a human for a long time.
Thankfully I’m better at managing this and can move past the anxious parts faster.The people who see me panic will unanimously agree this is not fast enough. Like everything, my efficiency in overcoming panic is a work in progress. Once the emotions drain, there is a feeling of exhaustion that comes with acceptance. The adrenaline is gone and all that is left is truth.
It is then time for action. Either myself or the person saving me will have a plan and everything flips into go time. I’m grateful to every single human that ever has had to deal with me in those moments. I’m super not fun to be around and it tests a lot of patience.
I know the time of day plays into my reaction. I’m pretty good at life when I’ve gotten enough sleep and am caffeinated midday. I can easily catch the cycle starting and move on. Today I decided to write this blog to funnel out negative energy creeping in. That flat came at 1:00 AM while I was tired, I acted like a baby.
Managing emotions is key for success
Thankfully most people won’t see me break down like that. It mostly happens when I encounter something entirely new. Once I’ve been through an experience, I develop the schemas necessary to call upon and have a starting point for the sequel. Post-panic I am fairly good at problem solving and can deal with my shit. I often just need a bit of processing time to separate emotion from reality.
Regardless of any progress on this front, the people who see you in panic and step into help won’t forget that this is part of who you are. For better or for worse.
I think it’s important people are aware of your weaknesses and flaws. However I want people to know that they can rely on me in a stressful time. While I have these moments of panic, I’m always able to find a path forward that deals with my problems in a proper way. Once I sleep on something, I am ready for anything.
Still, seeing how the people who jumped out their cars to help me handle my crisis with confidence and ease left an impact on me. I was not calm when I was talking and it was clear as day how messed up I was feeling inside. My emotional poker face was gone.
We are all experts in our own domain
I’ve owned a car for just over a month. There is a lot I’m learning fast and dealing with car problems so quickly overwhelmed me. Weirdly if there was a PR crisis in my life, I wouldn’t have the same kind of panicked response.
I’ve spent a long time managing reputations and content calendars. I know how to deal with C-level executives and all kinds of office place stuff. Presentations don’t scare me at all.
While I really wish I was more stoic in times of perceived crisis, and quicker to the draw on problem solving, I recognize we all have areas in life where we feel weak. I’m sure a lot of people experience what I go through in their own way.
I just know that the quicker I can learn to manage my emotions in times like these, the more money I will make in life. A lot of why people make those giant salaries is their ability to have good judgement in all kinds of stress.
This skillset can be developed via practice. The more stressful situations we are in, the more we can develop a toolkit for managing emotional response. I think long and hard on the moments where I think I acted silly and actively seek ways to improve.
Life is really just clocking experience in various skills maxing out your skill tree to unlock superior combos of abilities. We’re all just protagonists in our own RPG.
Now that I wrote all this out, I can move on, accepting that no garages are open today and my car won’t be Uber worthy again until tomorrow.
Live Long and Prosper Everyone