Some weeks I make like 2 months worth of mistakes in like 3 days.
Normally I’m on point, I keep track of what I need to and deliver on time. Then one little mistake happens and it begins eating away at my mind. I start having doubts and stressing instead of focusing on what I need to do.
My memory loses space as worry grabs whatever focus it can.
Then my performance becomes sloppier. My judgement gets worse and I get slammed with bad result after bad result. My anxiety will skyrocket and all of a sudden I feel crippled. The time it takes to deal with all of that, makes my balancing plates act even worse causing more accidental damage.
Then I finally snap out of it with a bruised ego and need to go around with a run of apologies and accountability.
I bravely step back into the world ready to do the regular ass stuff I was doing 4 days earlier.
Adulting can be rough.
Sometimes we lose our sense of PRSPCTVS and that’s okay
What will happen when I’m going through it, is I lose any ability to quickly discern an appropriate emotional response to most things.
Thankfully over the years I have people around me who can point out when something is not that big of a deal. They also let me know when I am reacting appropriately. Here and there situations in life trigger strong emotions, it’s the way it goes.
On a normal day I’ve developed, over a long period of time, the ability to recognize that bad things happen.
I’ll run a little analysis in my head and see what I can do differently. In some cases I can alter my behaviour to avoid a bad thing. Like if you don’t burn stop signs, you won’t get pulled over.
Other times you just deal with very difficult things because life says so.
It’s a skill to recognize when something like negligent mistakes happen. You should aim to avoid them, but nobody is perfect. You are allowed to miss.
What matters most is how you move next.
It’s important to remember weakness is human especially when battling your demons
When I get manic and my emotions are flooded my decision making gets worse.
I settle for an inferior quality than my best. I indulge in immediate gratification without considering the big picture. In those moments of sheer weakness I can undo weeks and weeks of progress.
Take losing weight as an example.
Some weeks the food intake is regulated. All cravings are resisted and slowly progress starts. Then stress kicks in and some bingeing takes place. The scale goes right back to the starting point.
The guilt from that creates new discipline.
Then it’s more focus and more dedication. All kinds of hard work, denying oneself the pleasures of life in order to generate health. Melodramatic, but real. Then one too many days of extra grind in a row takes place and poof, it’s mistake-city. To deal with that there are always restaurants waiting.
That one hits both the savings and the health. While it sucks, it’s human. Even the people you see out there with “perfect” lives probably are battling their own version of this.
What matters most isn’t the failures, it’s how you move next.
Take some time to reflect and try and avoid things that will lead to your downfall
I have been grinding overnight Uber, but only on weekends.
I sometimes get home at 5 AM on a Saturday morning then sleep 5 broken hours and start the day. Sunday morning around 4-5 AM I stroll in and crash. Unfortunately, with the rising sun, sleep doesn’t come.
By the time Sunday has rolled around I’m wildly disoriented.
So much so that I have gone so far as to forget commitments.
While I like driving people around all night, maybe I can make just as much money in the daytime. Maybe instead of getting home at 5 AM, I wake up at 5 AM and go grind out the morning. Try out that version of the work schedule.
It’s important to evaluate after each error. What made you mess up? I recently missed a payment because I forgot to transfer funds. Maybe leaving enough money in my checking account to cover any withdrawal is worth more than future interest in a savings account.
This one is laced with personal frustration, I hope it offers some relatability.
Try to fight off those negative PRSPCTVS
The one big problem with bad choices leading to bad results is it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
You start to anticipate failure rather than winning. The more you dream up your demise, the more you live in ways that bring it to life. You need to stay in touch with yourself and remind yourself that part of breaking free from the darkness is believing it’s possible.
Despite my slipups nothing bad really happened.
Overall I do good work and I keep things moving. That attitude allows me to shake it all off like I’m on my Swiftie vibes. Then I jump back into the thick of it, ready to take on the impossible.
As long as you adopt the things you learn from your mistakes it’s okay. Recently I stopped making sure my calendar was up to date. I haven’t been listing out all my work. The end result is I have no idea how much free time I have, it’s been taxing me.
Instead of planning recreation, I end up slashing that time to play catchup. Clearly I need to plan better. Which I can do. And that will lead to more recreation and less stress. It’s all a process.
I hope your day started better than mine, albeit my day is ending nicely.
Live Long and Prosper Everyone