I didn’t feel like writing yesterday, I learned how much the combination of mushrooms, alcohol, weed, caffeine and weirdly, for vacation me, less calories than normal would slap me silly.
I demolished water throughout the week. Turns out that just let me consume at a level I’ve never played with so successfully. Ironically the tragic tale of my trip home, took place without exciting intoxicants, though in hindsight I should have jumped at coffee sooner.
All day on Saturday I was off. I knew I needed to eat, but couldn’t be bothered to wait an hour anywhere for food. Nothing looked appealing for a quick bite.
Inevitably we had to jump on the chores part of the day, we needed to get the interior of the car cleaned out because we’re nice respectful people that go above and beyond with rentals.
Between that and a delicious but extremely slow food truck, something like 3ish hours went by before we were back at the Airbnb.
After putting my body through a great time my battery hit low
I felt like crap on Saturday but it was also Saturday night and I wanted a follow up to my magical Friday.
On Friday, I remember eating these amazing street empanadas and drinking a margarita next to a cop who allegedly had a fat BBL like booty. I was too high from the shroomies in that moment to notice the booty. I was living my best life coasting, gone, but clearly not a concern to the cops.
Poison Pen enjoyed me asking, loudly, if I was good to drink in public. Pen was like, bro you’re literally next to the cops, why are you asking so loud they can hear you if you’re trying to be on the low. There was no tact in that moment.
Super great night, I spent hours walking around, with a level of cognition I was too fucked up to talk to anyone. It was surreal but it took its toll. I was a lazy, lower brain power person than I normally am come Saturday.
Which is problematic when you’re the one driving and your ability to pay attention matters. Plus I was just sweating all day, clearly flushing toxins out of my body.
Allow me to be clear, these last few days created memories worth every dollar I will end up paying for this trip.
In fact I need to focus on making more so I can do it better next time.
Drained, sweaty (and inevitably pukey) I had no desire to write yesterday.
My mistake was not sleeping more
Here’s my big rookie mistake in this daily partying thing, I did not let myself sleep properly.
I went to bed after 4 AM the entire time I was in Puerto Rico. I woke up around 11 AM the entire time I was in Puerto Rico. Instead of trying to go back to sleep, I spent time dilly dallying in bed on my phone and chilling. I did not take appropriate naps either. I saw, I consumed, I went hard.
Part of that was wanting to “get my money’s worth” on this trip. It dawned on me that at a certain point I had no idea what the morning was like in Old San Juan. Next time, I’m going to pace myself smarter. Instead of going in stupid hard each time, I will try and take a day off.
Since that won’t happen, I will make sure I have a lot more food around. A lot of the drinking and smoking was taking place on an empty stomach. Flacko was not impressed that we weren’t eating enough.
In truth that bit me in the ass real hard. This led to a moment where I blundered and I get to receive a bill for X coming to me in the future. To be clear, even if it’s dumb high and I want to cry looking at the number, it was worth it.
Still the one part I don’t think I enjoyed fully was driving an SUV around Old San Juan.
Getting a flat tire was not on my bucket list for the trip
All of a sudden I heard the “tssssss” of a flat tire.
You got to understand, Old San Juan has tiny streets. There is a parking lane, if that, and then a second lane that barely fits it all. People leave their mirrors tucked away and most of the local’s cars (They got permits) were scratched up.
Let’s add in that I’ve never driven an SUV before. I had a lot of trouble gauging how big the car was in these Old San Juan streets. The rest of the city is easy to navigate, but the narrow, hilly, twervy, cobblestone streets were stressful every time.
Most people drive slow, because otherwise you’ll damage your car.
The other problem with Old San Juan is that it’s so narrow, dealing with a tow truck sounded like a nightmare. Let me run you through this conundrum I was facing.
I was unaware there was a spare tire on the Santa Fe, Google told me they stopped adding those to newer models and we had a newer model. With no spare I’d need to tow.
This flat happens around 3 in the morning and my original flight was at 7:20 in the morning.
I needed to get my luggage and myself to the airport, with the car, so on some quick Googles the internet said a Santa Fe tire could probably handle being driven with a flat for a bit, so I did.
I had to get my luggage into the car. Then I drove 3 KM out of Old San Juan, until I got to the normal streets outside the part we were staying in.
The company we rented from gave me the number of a local tow truck service, and it was closed on outside of workday hours.
Thankfully I had a hero pull up.
A San Juan Uber Driver really hooked me up
Basically homie saw me pull out of Old San Juan with the fucked up tire and jumped on his Good Samaritan shit.
The next evolution of this story is that as I was getting my luggage, I rushed. So bad that I ran out, without my wallet or passport, locking the keys in the place (since done right I wouldn’t be going back to the Airbnb anymore). Only at that moment it just felt like I lost my wallet on top of everything else.
Homie drove me all the way back to the Airbnb to try and get my passport. Then we drove back to the car when we discovered Flacko and Pen were out cold. Then he helped me deal with the rental place in Spanish, then he drove me back to the Airbnb to find my wallet.
Now I had offered him money for his help. I’m also an Uber Driver, I’m not about to let this man drive me for free. But then I had no wallet, and giving Americans money outside of Paypal is hard. The dude drove off, with a soft offer to check back on me if I was really stuck.
The worst part of my trip was not being able to pay that guy for helping me out.
After waiting only 10 minutes or so the tow truck guy came, found the spare and put it on.
A long 5 hours followed everything I just described.
Somewhere around 3:30 AM I started calling Flacko.
He was out cold. Spoiler alert, he woke at 9:00 AM. Between then I had a lot of time to lament on my tomfoolery. There is nothing worse than being forced to stew in your actions. I think I found 8 things I did dumb that I can avoid in the future to ensure I don’t end up in this moment again.
Thankfully I was able to call United (I got a hold of them 10 minutes before boarding opened for my flight). They got me moved to the flight I’m sitting on now, heading back to Newark. Flacko and Pen’s flight got delayed so we all ended up going to the airport together.
In a weird twist of events, this flight saved me about 250$ Canadian as a credit on a future United flight. That will make for a nice and easy trip to NYC or a more affordable one to Nashville.
Pretty much everything from 2:45 to 9 AM was super trash yesterday. The rest of my trip was amazing though. Allow me to be clear there is no regret here. I went hard, and I unfortunately went hard on seismic dumb shit.
And I did it around 2 New Yorkers.
That was a great trip, I’m high key not excited for work tomorrow but Flacko and I will reconvene and share Our PRSPCTVS tomorrow at 7 PM EST over at twitch.tv/behindthatsuit.
Live Long and Prosper Everyone
P.S. - Flacko and Pen felt like my copious drinking amount was still amateur hour.
P.P.S. - It's 9:12 and I'm in Newark, not home yet, praying there are no delays
P.P.P.S. - They have Breakfast Baconators all over the States and I want one, why can't Wendy's have all day breakfast
Comentarios