I’m aware this is a morose topic.
In a perfect world I’ll never have to take a life. On the other hand, sometimes dealing with certain individuals becomes so complicated, you develop this fantasy of their death. The hurt they cause each time you see them is just so complicated you’d rather never encounter them again.
This article is an effort to vent emotion without being specific.
So much of my life is dependent on my ability to perform socially but the person in question throws off my energy so much that sometimes, for days, I just get lost in my head.
You’re born alone, you die alone, some fences you can’t mend
That is a quote from my favourite Littyyy Bros song Rearview:
In truth I grew up with a family, so you can debate the idea of being born alone if you want. The poetic message still resonates with me. Despite who is around you in life, it’s on you to manage your world.
Sometimes the relationships are just broken and will never be good.
Suffice it to say it’s worth trying to mend the fences you can, but I see value in torching the ones you cannot.
Don’t waste time with people who refuse to listen to you
There are plenty of micro moments of bad companionship we all engage in.
Sometimes it’s insignificant ramblings of regular life, other times it’s darker. Someone will sit there and craft entire narratives about you. They may go so far as to scream at you in the middle of a street craving some validation you will never give.
Before engaging, ask them directly if they care what your answer is. When they say no, walk away and torch that bridge, their intentions are to attack you and frankly you are worth better.
This is referencing some real specific stuff, so if it feels like you’re a bit confused as to what happened, it is what it is.
Sometimes life forces you into moments with these people and it’s bloody awful
This is not the dynamic of artists not liking each other while acting like dorks at rap shows.
This is when it’s some real deal stuff and there’s literally no option but to interact with someone you’ve sworn off. Especially when they try to find any power they have over you to weoponize it. These folk will deliberately take whatever shots they can because any reaction is better than you walking away.
So walk away every time.
After my recent version of this I was left with this feeling of wishing this person would die. I pictured the rest of my life knowing they were gone and it sounded better. I know how bad that is, but this is how I genuinely feel.
Sometimes you just want to know if others feel that way because being honest in your own circles always leads to more fake shit.
My ending tagline feels weird on this one.
Live Long and Prosper
P.S. - This has nothing to do with social media or people I’ve dealt with online, I feel this is worth writing so no one confuses this with my feelings towards a different person in a local FB group.