Since I can’t Uber this weekend while I deal with my car I was excited to venture into the world again.
Turns out that isn’t happening. This weekend I was slammed with multiple responsibilities at once. Vacating my grandpa’s apartment, work related tasks, and I need to get my birth certificate, which is at my moms place.
Turns out I only really needed my birth certificate now.
Add in things like writing this article and all of a sudden the fun is gone and the weekend is stressful.
There is a lot of stuff I wish I could be doing, and it looks like others are having much fun.
The truth is FOMO weighs heavy on my mind as I watch the time fly by this year.
I dedicated 2024 to the grind and that means I will be missing out
While I’m disappointed I can’t go have fun with the people, if my car wasn’t scratched up, I’d just be out there working.
This year I’ve missed out on a whole bunch of social life. With that sacrifice, I’ve already cleared 25% of my debt total. It will be a long time before I’m liquid again, but seeing the progress has me very motivated.
As I keep my foot on the pedal and avoid more 2000$ bills, I should get that number up to 75% cleared by December. My minimum payments will be 200$ instead of the 800$ I started the year with.
As time goes on I watch people make music together, form bonds and participate in the bigger scene.
Week after week passes and I don’t record, I barely write music and it feels like all the extra stuff I need to do isn’t happening. I can barely stay on top of regular chores.
It’s worth it because next year I will be free of the credit card demons.
Most days it’s fine, until the FOMO kicks in.
Chances are you are exactly where you are supposed to be despite missing out
My brain is not in a social place.
I’m stressed, feel overwhelmed and for the most part I have so much pent up emotion lately I can barely articulate my thoughts without venting poisonous energy.
It’s weird dealing with death. Throwing out the remains and legacy of a man I barely knew. It’s weird dealing with expensive car repairs and setbacks.
Over the course of the year I have really tried to stay true to my course so that when my head is in a better space I can socialize properly.
I’m meant to be taking care of my grandfather’s stuff this weekend.
Big picture there are rewards, baked into that goal, that will financially compensate me down the line. When future me receives those rewards, it won’t feel like I missed out on very much.
If I went out today I’d be spending money I shouldn’t, while faking positivity.
I’ve learned that when people see me like this, they remember what they see.
It’s okay to take the time to deal with your responsibilities
While everything feels piled on at once right now, it’s because there is actually a lot going on.
Normally I’m not vacating an apartment and stressing about car repairs. Most days I do push myself pretty hard, but in a way where at least the efforts are directly related to progress. Then you get hit with “adulting” moments.
It’s a lot of stuff that needs to be done, like income taxes, only it takes time and energy from the regular stuff that needs to be done.
Even my day job slammed me with 5 video shoots in a week, that’s more than normal.
The volume of emergency level stuff is affecting me so much I can barely think about the content I want to write. This entire article is an exercise in forcing myself to write for the sake of practice. I’m debating whether I should drive back to Longueuil after I put this out so I can have a faster day tomorrow.
I know everyone goes through weeks like this. Where everything is heavy and it pulls away from regular commitments. Most people just hide it and go along with their day.
It’s taught me a lot about the value of time. I sincerely wish I had written this when I was dilly dallying at 9:30 AM. On the other hand, my brain needed a bit of a recharge before the day kicked in.
Anyhow it looks like it will be one non-stop hustle until the Puerto Rico trip.
Then I can finally chill for a minute. Or party, or both.
Live Long and Prosper Everyone
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