Full disclosure, Kaybee's lady gave me the "are you kidding me look" when she saw this pic. Alas it's what I have.
There were many events happening April 1, 2023 in Montreal. This is no joke. I did think it was funny that so many people chose to ignore April Fools, except Legault and Plante.
Valerie is dropping some bars on an album and Francois wants to be on Twitch now. Fair enough, I’d do corny stuff too if I had a team that could plan it for me. I do drop bars and I am on Twitch, no joke yo! Also, I do plan on running in the next Montreal election.
Kaybee Turkoleone had come done his Bridge the Gap episode recently and had hyped up the Royal Conglomerate event. I feel part of my role is to pull up at the events people advertise on my show. Given it’s affordable/they give me a press pass.
People I’m going to write about you, press pass ya boy.
Laval is in fact a real place
To the people from New York, you can think of Laval as Staten Island. If you are from somewhere else, picture that city that’s super valid, that’s near your city. Only no one’s heard of them, so they claim your bigger city when tourists come, but claim their own city when locals are around.
This is Laval. According to Google, this mythical place is located north of the Island of Montreal. To give props to Laval over Longueil, Laval is also an island. As you can see Laval is pretty big, but I’m going to run this joke so far into the ground only I will derive entertainment from it.
And entertained I am.
Don’t get me wrong I am aware Laval is a real place. My parents used to work in Chomedy. I’ve been to the Pendeli’s out there. I saw Wu-Tang at Place Bell in 2019, here’s hoping they handle the sound better this time around.
High key one of the best shows I’ve been to in the local scene was this Jaay Noir event in Laval. It was really fun, I even made a little video recapping it. We (maybe just me) as Montreal folk need to head out to Laval more.
The real debate, bus vs cycle
The cycle ride to the venue was about an hour and 3 minutes. The bus/metro ride to the venue was an hour and 5 minutes. One of those options comes with much more cardio, the other one lets me be productive in other ways.
The weather was nice in the daytime but when I saw there would be gusts of wind and feels like negative degrees, I had to think it through. I’m finally past this being sick thing and I’d like to not test fate. However, give it 2 or 3 weeks and cycling to Laval is no big deal.
Basically, I shoot up to Victoria, take that until it becomes Lucerne. Ride that path until I hit Gouin. Go East on Gouin until that little walking bridge. Then just cycle to the appropriate spot in Laval.
Most of y’all are sleeping on the efficiency and joy of cycling around our beautiful city. I see so much gorgeous street art all over, places your car can’t go.
The bus however let me make a bunch of food reviews with footage. Stuff I’d been loafing on. Here is an example.
If you can think of things we can film that will help get us paid, comment below.
Bistro La Coquille is a vibe
It is definitely more of a take a lady and feed her delicious food to get laid vibe than it is a rap show vibe. I have not been on point with eating this week so it hit me around 9 PM I needed to eat something, or I may faint. We as artists in our 30’s need to be cognizant of our nutrition levels.
While I did not do anything healthy with food, I did cave and order a Creole poutine. This was a conventional poutine topped with griot. I see people posting about their lust for griot on the Book so often I knew I had to get this one.
It is a bougie poutine with a bougie price. I felt it was well worth every dollar I spent. If you know me, I’m pretty damned cheap about food. This poutine was fucking delightful.
Unfortunately, by the time I ordered the show was underway. Every available table was blocked off. Kaybee had made sure earlier I could go upstairs to the VIP area, so I went up and sat by myself and enjoyed my poutine.
Sometimes sharing a meal is the move. This by myself while live music played downstairs poutine was special. I didn’t get drunk or anything last night, so I really was able to soak in the moment of delight as each mouthful of griot poutine blessed my tongue.
Shobiz514 appeared as I finished it. I had ran into him as I walked up to the venue initially. He had been there punctually, and was perambulating around mapping the area, head on a swivel as always.
Where the artists at… again
Doors opened at 8:00 PM according to the flyer. I knew better than to show up at that time, but I did still arrive around 8:30 PM. It’s a great way to get your photo taken a bunch.
Hear me out, the photographers are usually punctual as they treat their business serious. So, if no one is there, and you are, they are going to take your picture more. Once the room fills up, the game changes.
I’ve had many videographers and photographers get me to pose in different ways for a picture. Yesterday the photographer and I annoyed some people with vape smoke, I was puffing vape smoke like a cornball for the gram.
Why am I writing about all this? The artists weren’t there. It was Shobiz514, a couple of other people and then no one. It was a strange, “it’s still early” moment where we hoped it would fill up.
There were a few people on time, don’t get me wrong. Shoutout Yungsammie who came out from Toronto and caught us outside. If I start naming more people, it shames the late ones. Everyone knows who they are and has their reasons.
Rico Blox & Travis Bryant were to perform twice
Rico Blox and Travis Bryant present an interesting exception to the show up on time argument. This would be a caveat I find legitimate and if all the promoters and parties involved agree, is valid. These kind of thought experiments are meant to show you the real depth of how much there is to explore when setting standards for your culture.
Rico and Travis had agreed to perform at CY’s #MTLUNITED event. Kaybee also wanted them at the Royal Conglomerate event. So, they went early at the first event and were aiming to come later to the second event.
This feels really logical and fair. I know stand-up comics who perform 3 sets in a night bopping around on their hustle. I can sell more pickle shirts (check the store on this site for merch) if I hit more than one party in a night. Since none of us are being paid, if you have other commitments to go hit more than one show, that feels like a great use of your grind.
However, if you only have the one show lined up, you should probably be there on time. This way when people arrive it feels full. You see people texting during these early phases of the show. If the party looks like it’s about to be popping, more of those texts are to the homies telling them to come.
Everyone has their reasons for how they move, but this is my analysis as a paying audience member and as a guy who performs at shows. I know it’s only my PRSPCTV.
Kaybee Turkoleone is a one-man party
This man ran around non-stop hyping up everything. Once the show part started you had no idea what Kaybee would do. The first couple of artists performed and showcased their music.
The sound in the spot was pretty good. They had an engineer man in the back mixing in real time. DJ Shak Attack otherwise held down the music.
The overall theme of the night is everyone involved in the show is someone Kaybee has made music with. This meant Kaybee was up on stage a lot hyping up chunes and sharing his energy.
A super noteworthy moment for me is when Kaybee just pulls up Shobiz514 to do the track “Bullet”. Shobiz was not aware this was coming (albeit given the event’s theme it did make sense). They did a high energy run around performance I really enjoyed. Y’all need to tell Shobiz to get his Soca dance moves on more.
Kaybee also performed some of his own music. His energy is more on that Carribbean feel the vibe of the moment wave. It isn’t about full songs, it’s about keeping everything as live as possible. You can’t be too white about this if you’ve never seen it before.
I say that because this takes a second to get used to. Think of it like chaotic medleys. The more shows I go to with this kind of focus, DeusGod be another one on that wave, the more I appreciate it.
The other performers were lit
As I am at these events, I am torn between my desire to be a journalist and covering it and my desire to have fun. The day people start paying me to show up and actually cover their events, is the day I will focus on going through an itinerary of every act.
In the meantime, I will say I loved Keemo Soul’s performance. He really brings a beautiful energy to it all. Moto Mokonzi brought a beautiful message with wonderful sounds. He was joined on stage by a lovely dancer whose dance is an artform unto itself. That woman speaks with her body.
Tuggras is something special. This man did an a cappella to start his set off. I am fairly certain I’ve seen him do this before and his voice is mesmerizing. Without a beat, he has you fully captivated ready to engage.
Then when the music kicks in the show just feels amazing. He performs with a strength that resonates so deep from his soul the entire room is taken aback. If you see Tuggras on a flyer, go to that show.
If you as a performer want a writeup done specifically, holla at me and we can figure $tuff out. Otherwise, if I’m eating poutine or outside herbalizing I may miss your set.
The show just stopped
I don’t really know what happened. This part I want to be delicate with because I wasn’t told anything firsthand. Somewhere not long after Travis and Rico pull up, the show is deaded.
DJ Snak Attack is still playing music, but the performance portion is over for the night. It did feel like around 11:30 PM, the place was starting to fill up. The vibes were not done, but the concert portion of the event was over.
I heard a few things, one being the owner wasn’t thrilled with the weed smell. That would all be hearsay. What I can say is it happened abrupt, and then we were just like what to do now.
Kaybee had disappeared at this point. Or at least I couldn’t find him when I said bye to people. The annoying bouncer at the bar made me empty my bag for a second time when I went in to say bye. I get the man had a job to do but this was superfluous, he saw all I had was clothes and that nothing else was fitting in here.
I did not like this bouncer man one bit. He did do his job effectively, but that don’t mean I have to like it.
For real it sucks. Especially for Travis, who lives in my part of town. There was no reason for him to pull up, he should have stayed at Blue Dog. At least Rico Blox lives in Laval.
The subway back
Rico Blox drives Travis Bryant and I to the subway. We could have walked but Rico Blox is a kind AF soul. The event was by Metro Catier and this is now in Zone B. It cost me 4.50 for a ticket, be prepared to buy a ticket in Laval folks.
Travis and I take the 30 something minute straight train ride beneath both islands. It’s pretty cool to think they build these tunnels under water and all that.
I find out Blue Dog was in fact more eventful than Laval. He catches me up on the interesting stuff and honestly from what I heard, some good things happened. I like it when the night is just positive messages.
I got back to Snowdon and the 51 was just there waiting for me. Took that bus and voila back before 2 AM.
I want to be clear that I had a good time. I met new people and networked like I do. This is never a waste for me. Had I been booked, I may have been frustrated with how it was all managed. Since I was not, I am left with, I went to Laval for a fire poutine and a fun show.
Live Long and Prosper Everyone