There is this dread that comes with the unknown. I’ve spent the better part of my adult life focused on faith, but I’ve always had a safety net. These days there is no clear path forward.
Sitting here without a regular source of income something I am uncomfortable with. Comfort, the funny concept that it is, has done very little to help me realize my full potential. I had something good going and I rode that wave for all that it is worth.
Now I am forced to face the reality that there are a lot of smart people out there. I am barely smart by comparison. Thus, I need to really buckle down and learn whatever is necessary to stand out from the crowd.
Life is competition
I know I’m competing against the ghosts of my past. I have been through a phase in life that looked like the one I am in, but it was trash. Today there is savings, available credit, people around me who got my back and potential being realized up the wazoo.
I’m also competing against my peers in this bizarre rat race that is the music game. I should say content game, we act like all we compete with is music, but we are also trying to out-social media, out-drip and out-cool each other at ever single turn.
I’m sending out CVs to positions where sometimes over 100 people have applied. My resume being a fraction of a per cent of the total. In case anyone is wondering I haven’t received a single callback yet. I am torn between lowering my standards and taking any job and maintaining faith this will all work out.
More than Faith Is Required
I believe in myself unapologetically. At first that faith had me believing that I was special and deserved more than other people. Perhaps that hubris is what brought me to my present circumstances.
Faith can be a passive process. Since mid-December when my world changed, I have found myself battling a lethargy I have not experienced in over a decade. Once I can get into the swing of working on projects I know the momentum will stack.
Unfortunately far too many days start with entire hours being wasted on whatever trivial task I can. This often delays the reality that the grind is waiting for me.
I love the experience of being paid to read and write. To consume content, learn new things and to document that knowledge into something more tangible and accessible. I can create courses and really do something wonderful with this skill I’ve been blessed with. This could be really monetizable.
What’s great is the blow of no longer being employed created this abundance of time. I should be doing the following:
Recording more music
Writing more content
Filming more TikToks
Networking via direct messages
Do more album reviews
I could keep going but instead I find myself looking for any chore to keep myself away from these activities. That has included a lot of going to events, where I do perform. Thankfully that has proven to be productive meaning in lethargy I have still grown.
Action is greater than words
The reason I am writing this is to force myself to write something today. The last few months have been a lot more talk than I would like. Even if this set of words goes nowhere, is read by no one and produces no immediate ROI, it does contribute to making sure the blog gets it’s third article.
I’m a songwriter but I don’t want to keep writing songs that encompass the emotional state I feel as I write this. Perhaps pouring my words out into an MS Word file and then copying and pasting it into Wix will help me pursue more action in my day.
Talking that talk and making those plans is very necessary. Planning can also be a lovely distraction that keeps us from work. People trust me because over the course of my adult life I have consistently been able to produce, whatever that ends up being in a moment.
That trust gets dampened if over time you allow your misery to take over. Pretty much your whole circle is probably going through it. In order to hit whatever the next level is for you, it matters that you can take action to find results in your life.
Get a haircut and feel pretty
If you are at all like most people when you are sad, you may not notice things like your hair getting too long. Okay I’m talking about me.
Today I got a haircut. It feels like a pointless thing to talk about but each time I get one I feel this renewed sense of vigour. I feel fresh and know that my hair won’t be as intrusive as it’s been.
You may have better hair protocol than I, but the idea here is to focus on your esteem. Forcing routines, creating patterns and making sure you always look good will help you stay on point. Especially when the only thing driving you day to day is your will and focus.
One point of pride in my life is that I have maintained the Lose Weight habits I worked hard to build. I been crushing my Bowflex cycle and making sure that I get enough exercise in my life. For me, this has helped me feel like I look good and that has deadass helped me get through the day.
Hustle, hustle, hustle
End of the day no one cares about your problems. The people who love you might, but they still expect you to figure your shit out. There is that basic adulting part where one must have a means to pay the bills and not be a burden.
Thankfully there are a lot of ways to hustle out there. We all have many skills that can be leveraged into things people will pay for. Thankfully I recently received my first side hustle pay in a while. The task is super interesting and largely the reason I can do it is because of the years we spent with album reviews.
That’s right, because we did album reviews, I have a skillset someone felt useful enough to pay me X amount a month for. It’s not enough to live off of, but it inspires me that if I find enough people like them I can avoid the job market entirely.
Once I got paid to read and edit a book. There is money out there and even in writing this article I feel myself changing my tone from dread of the unknown to curious about the future.
Life has a funny way of working out.
Never give up
Since this whole thing has been corny our conclusion section is a reminder to not give up. I definitely recommend having some safety nets in place, but recognize that a lot of time the consistency is what attracts people.
I need to write a lot of blogs if I want to get paid as a writer. People want to see my ability to produce 1000+ word articles on a regular basis so there is no doubt I can do this full time.
One day I’d like to write a book. If that is to ever happen, I need to develop the discipline to write prose over poetry. The only way to do that is to listen to myself here and get my hustle on. Write more and publish more.
Live Long and Prosper Everyone